Being True to Me

been too long

2011-07-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hello dear friend. It as been far too long. So, how are things? Well, havent been to church in ages. Not liking my job location. Just today I have been putting in applications. I am also trying to change locations to one closer to the house. I have however been going to knit group on saturdays and it has been wonderful. i havent been doing that much real knitting. The sweater I was working on will be frogged and re-started. I am currently work on a hat that is not just a plain beanie! and it is slow going; only because I dont work on it seriously. On other notes; the kids are enjoying their summer and it is almost over; just a few more weeks. Son will be in 7th and daughter will be in 3rd. just cant believe that they are getting so big. Man and I are doing well. We talk a lot more than we used to. We went on a little vacation at the end of last month and it was nice. Ok enough chatting as i have knitting to do. will chat soon.

2010-11-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

ok, been a little while since i was here. things are well. i have been at my new store location for about 6mon and loving it. we are back down to only 1 car, thus i have changed my availability yet again, and it is limiting me from the promotion that i deserve. however, i am still working full time hours, so nothing to complain about. since the location change, we havent been going to church as much, well actual, not at all. i work most saturdays, so sundays are my only real day to get things done around the house and to enjoy some peace. do i miss church, yes! then why do we not go, that is unclear to me. anyhow, things are great. the children are healthy and doing well in school. all our needs are being met!! so, i must go as the washer just buzzed!! must finish the laundry. will chat again soon.

Lost, can I be found?

2010-07-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

Had a dream last night; or very early this morning rather. I was walking on a city street. My son was with me, and I couldn't remember were I had parked the car. I was lost. My son decided to keep walking forward; very sure he would be safe! My daughter was behind me; whereever my car was. I had to find her! I had to stop him!! I was LOST! I had a GPS in my hand, but it was of no use; as I didnt know where I was. Then a man appeared and spoke to me. He said "Everyone has a built in GPS chip; you are not lost to ME! Have faith you will find your way. Go get your son, as he is not ready to be on his own. Then walk the path that is before you. Do not stray. You will find what you are looking for." I awoke with such sadness that I had lost my daughter and my son. Then I realized that they were not lost. I was the one that was lost; as I am to guide them in the way they should go. How can I lead my children, if I do not know where I am going. This dream was an insight to what I need to do. I need to stay on the path before me. I need not stray. I will find what I am looking for. What am I looking for? Will I know it when I see it? I will walk and not stray, and see where it leads me. Thank you Jesus!!

2010-06-16T05:50:00.000-07:00

well, the new year is half over and i havent been true to me at all. i am still working for pennies, i have not gotten enrolled in school, and my prayer life is next to nothing. i also havent been taking great care of my body either. i know that i should eat more regularly and control my portions, exercise and drink plenty of water, but who has the time to remember all of that; especially when you are trying to figure out other things like, how the bills are going to get paid, your car is going to get fixed, the title is going to get paid, daycamp and field trips paid... the list goes on. there is good news though.. the one thing i have been waiting for for a very long time finally happened. so, this year is a good year. i have a loving and supportive church family, i have a job, my children are happy and healthy...so things are not as bad as they seem.. so i should just pray, let go and let God!!!

Socks cont.

2009-12-25T14:49:00.000-08:00

ok. so, i am 1/5 done with my first sock and i havent touched them since. i havent been in the mood to do much knitting. not to mention, i have had to work every night this week and i have been home during the days with the children. these socks need lots of concentration and with them running around crazy, i havent had the courage to work on them. i am hoping to work on them at some point this weekend. i work on saturday night, so not sure if it will be tomorrow, but we will see. i know i was very excited and proud of myself when i finished the first diamond and i know that i will be even more excited to complete the next one.

Sock, yes finally Socks!!

2009-12-14T15:52:00.000-08:00

ok! so; yes, it has been a long time since my last post. so, why you ask, well there really hasnt been much going on to write about; so instead of just blabbering about nothing i choose not to write. well, now i have something to write about. SOCKS!!! yes socks. i have started my first pair of socks finally. i started them on saturday 12-12-09 with my local knitting group. there is a member of the group that has been knitting forever, and she has so graciously offered to knit the socks along with me and give me instructions as needed. i have chosen a toe up sock with some lace detailing as to not get bored. i purchased my yarn from www.knittersbrewing.com and the pattern came for free (not a bad deal at all). i am making the girls best friend sock. so, on saturday, i wound my yarn and learned to 2 new techniques. i learned the 2 needles cast-on, yes i am making them on 2 circular needles and not on dpns (double pointed needles) and i learned a new make-one. i managed to finish the toe section of the first sock, what an accomplishment.

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

here it is mother's day and yet another year has passed, as i sit at home alone with the children. it is just another day i suppose. this year at least dh has a good reason for not being here; he had to go to his grandmother's funeral. it was yesterday. her passing was totally unexpected. the hardest part for me during this time, is seeing him hurt. he is a strong man not emotional at all. to see him cry and not just tears but sob himself to sleep was the worst part of this whole thing. being that he isnt emotional, he isnt talkative either, and thus i couldnt get him to talk about it with me. he said i wouldnt understand his pain. she practically raised him. well, i too lost my grandmother and it hurt. i loved that woman. i lived with her most of my life, as my mother was very ill - Lupus. she was on 24hr oxygen and tons of medication. not to mention her mental illnesses. so, we (my brothers and i) lived with granny and pops most of my childhood. so, i do understand his pain, but he would never get that. so, i will let him grieve in his own way and just be here when he is done. like i always am. forever faithful. forever strong.

It is April

2009-04-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

ok. here we are. it is april and things finally seem to be getting better. we moved to GA in june of 07 and it is now april of 09; almost 2 full years. but there is a light. not a bright light but a light. DH got promoted at work, so now he is making more money, but his schedule is screwed. which doesnt help my job one bit. and he doesnt understand that i need to give my boss a something sortve set to go by. we do our schedules weeks in advance. so, i cant just keep changing things week to week. so frustrating. not to mention i am trying to get promoted. and with out knowing my true availability, it is going to be hard and i my miss it yet again. however, DH finally got a car. yep. he did. from a real car lot with a real loan. it is way more than we wanted to pay but the term is low; so he will have to make do. the car is in both of our names; so it will help and hurt me. what can ya do. DH's other son came to live with us. we are ok. but i am nervous about this as i am on some programs that have some rules and it is hard. but we will make do.

the new year

2009-01-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

well the new year has been here for almost a month now and well...
things are still going the same. except for the job. i have relocated to a new store, but not getting any more hours than i was before. then i was given hope for a promotion and that fell through. ugh. things will be better. as i have been given a clear health check this time around. i am back on bc and will be seeing a neurologist soon about my headaches. so that is something good. i am going to try to get healthy. i need to commit to my workouts more. i have been doing loads of knitting and i have completed my first felting project. it turned out so beautifully. i cant wait to make another one. my children are doing great and i love to see them grow and bloom. so, that is it for now. i dont want to get to mushy or icky here. not today.

survival

2008-09-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

1 minute, 6 seconds

Learning Process

2008-08-03T05:13:00.000-07:00

Hey, I consider myself a beginner knitter; being that I only started knitting a year ago. However, when I look for beginner or easy knitting patterns--they might be labeled as such, but once I start working them; I find they are not my level of beginner. I am learning the knitting language fairly easy, and I can do most of the stitches without to many mistakes. So, why do I consider myself still a beginner? Well, because I have not truly left the knit/purl stitch. I have not made anything outside of things that consist of a square or rectangle (IE dishcloth, purse, blanket, scarf). I have the material to begin hats and socks. I just don't have the security in my skills to begin them. I said I wanted to make hats and scarves sets for my friends and family for Christmas. So, I will have to venture out with that hats very soon, as Christmas is only 5 months away, and I have at least 10 to make. So, let me get back to the blanket I am making right now, so I can start on these hats soon.

Back to School Fever

2008-07-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

Ok. July is almost over and school will begin real soon. My children go back in less than 1 month. My son will be in 4th grade and my daughter will be starting Kindergarden (tears). Everytime we drive by the school - they get to chattering... that's my school, I'll be going there, We'll be in the same school together. It is non-stop talking. I am glad to see my children excited about school. The stores are all gearing up with school supplies and school clothes; it is so hard for me not so buy every cute thing I see, but I do have some restraint. With school about to start in August, that lets me know that I only have 4 more months to prepare for their birthdays and Christmas. Yes, christmas is only 5.5months away. Yikes !! So, I need to get a move on inorder to get all of the hand-made christmas gifts I am planning done on time. On a healthier note- my weight loss program is still a very big part of my day. I plan my meals and my exercise around the activities with my children -or the activities planned for that day are my exercise. With having the children home, it is not all that hard for me to get all the exercise I need; with having to constantly clean up behind them, chase them out of the place they shouldn't be, and just trying to keep up with all of their energy; I burn most of the calories I need. So, there is very little left for me to do on my exercise program. Where I am having issues is with the eating. With the summer heat, I tend not to eat all that much. I like cooler foods; salads, fruits, smoothies, and lots of water. So, here is where my planning comes in , because no weight loss program works if you are not eating properly. So, I have managed to train myself to eat small meals (snacks) throughout the day in order to get the calorie intake I need to maintain a great weight loss program. Now for me, what have I been doing so far for the summer; besides chasing the children and maintaining a weight loss program)?? I have been organizing a local knitting group (aka Stitch -N-B@!*#). I started the online group earlier this month and I have found a place, day, and time for us to all meet locally. Here, us women, can get together and have some other female interaction, chat, and knit. All things we love to do. I am also gathering info to start my own business (I will leave it at that for now-as I don't want to give anything away just yet). So, the first half of our Me & my family's) summer has been fun filled. I just hope that the last part is just as rewarding.

this is me-keeping the fight moving forward

finding myself through organization

2008-06-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

back in march i started a life style change through a free program i found on a websearch- SPARKpeople.com. it has helped me to organize my nutrition and exercise in a healthy way. there i have met several people i would call friends. this site has been very motivational, encouraging, and the very life thread to my finding myself. it was through that site that i found ravelry. another great organization site for all of my yarn crafts; finished, unfinished, and wanting to make. like SP i have found several people i would call friends. now i would like to take time to tell somethings about myself:

i have stated i am married 14yrs. i have 2 children son 9 (has adhd) daughter 5. i am currently in a lifestyle changing program to get healthy (SPARKpeople) and i am having great success. i am an apostolic-pentecostal and love the Lord. i recently moved to Marietta, GA (near Atlanta) from Peoria, IL (near Chicago) and my family and i are still adapting. our move was unexpected and rushed and it has taken us this first year to find our bearings. i have always loved to make things (knit, crochet, sew, scrapbook, and card-make) and i try to include my children in a lot of my projects. here is where i find my peace. if i were to say what is the best thing about me i would say my children; for they have taught me so much about life, forgiveness, love, joy, and the list could go on forever. what am i now looking for in my life- just to be happy with each day at its end, to live each day in itself, and to be free of the yesterdays.

that is me-keeping the fight moving forward